Last night was the get together of my Bnai Mitzvah class to wrap up the loose ends and pay off anyone who had paid out money and needed reimbursement.
I had dreaded it. One more dose of Madame X - I thought.
Instead it was a pleasant evening - a pot luck dinner. We chatted and talked - we ate well.
I learned things I hadn't known about some of them and noticed that the things that drove me nuts were still there - although Madame X was strangely silent.
For one thing most of these women are the age of my daughters. They have young families and at least half of them know each other and their children from Hebrew school. So there is lots of talk about the kids, what they are doing or not doing, how the teachers are, what changes are occurring in the school, etc. etc.
Most of them work as well - many in demanding careers. A chiropractor; a lawyer who teaches law; a couple of teachers; a professor at the university. ..I am the ONLY retiree.
They also are very rude - as many younger people are today (and maybe always were). They cut each other off; finish each others sentances; over-ride a speaker; chatter endlessly about subject that SOME of us know nothing about (and so cut us out altogether); they also don't respect age! What a blow since I'm the oldest. They also exist in a world I'm no longer much of a participant in. I don't care what the latest clothes are; I don't know the latest music; I buy wine that's on sale and care little or nothing about labels; my house is as good as it's ever going to be and I have no plans to remodel, buy new furniture, re-landscape or move up.
I do care about politics - but that never came up - EVER. Which tells you something about them, because my daughter and I love to talk politics and worry about what's going to happen next politically.
They were this way from the beginning and I wanted to drop out because of it. But, the teacher told me I had to tell the class why - if I did and me, being a good little girl, bought it. When I told them about this last night, one of them said - aghast - But that's blackmail and she had no right to do that to you. (Never occured to me - she was the TEACHER). Another who had dropped out of the class said "She tried that on me and I just said NO." (Never occurred to me either).
Park of what we had to do was write an evaluation of the instructor and we were merciless.
She is a therapist - NOT an instructor - but she has been teaching this class for several years - and indeed, started the program. When I spoke to other people in her earlier classes, they said she had always been this way. Totally, disorganized; changing her mind from week to week as to what the plan of study should be; "forgetting" from week to week what she had decided. Making assignments and not following up. Not making sure each person KNEW each prayer in the service, and not just the ones they were responsible for. And on and on.
When I was in Berlin, there had been a substitute teacher and they raved about how SHE was a good teacher and none of the problems we had would have occurred with her. Maybe they were right.
Some people had no idea how frustrated the others were with the teacher. I had been having people come to me and ask me to go to the temple administrators, or confront the teacher about the problems. And I had done both. Which is why, for the first time, the temple is asking for an evaluation from the students. But, it seems, they have known for some time about her ineptitude but took pity on her and didn't want to hurt her feelings but............it was OK to take our money and let us hang out to dry with her. But some people in the class had not realized that others felt the same way they did - until now.
I'm sure the temple administration will be hearing more about that NOW.
I'm sure that most of the problems with Madame X occurred because everyone was waiting for the teacher to rein her in and set limits and it never happened - at least not until the very last few weeks when it had gone on waaaay too long and I was about to lose my mind. I was one of three people who spoke up - and I kept speaking up about the abuses Madame X tried to inflict on us. Not that they were bad - they were just her megalomania.
Anyway, bottom line - SHE AND I HUGGED AT THE END....I told her I was sorry about the conflict that had occurred (but I'm not sorry I stopped her whenever I could)....she said "it's all water under the bridge" or some such thing. Which is fine. As long as we aren't on any committee or project together, I'm sure we can be civil from now on. And she can sing as much as she wants as long as I have ear plugs to protect me.
And, I'm glad I hung in there. Definitely a milestone for me.
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