Travel and Steps

Just came back from a visit to Albuquerque where we went for my grandson's first birthday.

He is one cute little guy. He's already walking pretty solidly and he says a word or two clearly - and lots of "talk" which sounds like it might be words but isn't understandable. His Mom talked well and early - at 18 months she was talking in sentances - maybe paragraphs. So maybe he takes after her.

It's so much fun to be around babies. I love to hold them, hug them, kiss them, play with them.
I'm really just a baby at heart myself. I roll on the floor (at least I try to) and chase them on all fours. What was I thinking? I'll be 73 this summer. I can't roll on the floor and chase toddlers - can I? Well, it doesn't stop me it just ups my intake of ibuprofen. I hope I don't hurt myself.

Both my little grandchildren are "solid" little people. I don't know exactly what they weigh but Micah feels like about 25 lbs. and Dahlia more. I know I can't carry Dahlia any distance and certainly not up stairs - I can barely lift my own weight up stairs. Fortunately Carol doesn't have any stairs at her house. Although the house actually belongs to Lisa.

It was a good trip and lots of partying. There was a dinner party on Micah's birthday, and a BBQ on the next day and the following day was Mother's Day and we went to a nice buffet restaurant. I did well with my food plan. I was able to make good choices from the buffet and Carol had plenty of food around which fills my food plan needs and I wasn't tempted to try the birthday cake (well, maybe a crumb or two). That's always an issue when traveling - will I get the food items I need to make me feel full and comfortable without straying into foods that set me off binging? It seems like the whole world works on carbohydrates that don't work for me.
There's always rice, noodles or pasta, bread or tortillas, etc. I tried eating blue tortillas and they didn't taste all that wonderful but they also didn't set me off.

It's always difficult being with my kids. I want to respect them and their space but I find myself also wanting to do things my way - because, of course, my way is sooo much better, more efficient or whatever. I have to pretend I'm visiting strangers and be very polite and respectfull.
That works better. If I'm too familiar and help myself to things or do things without asking, I tread on feelings which may or may not be parental/child conflict areas - but in any case, I don't want to go there.

My sponsor and I have been at loggerheads about my Step 8. That's making a list of all the people I owe amends to and then making amends. I've been stuck and she's been impatient with me - wants me to do it her way - so I finally "fired" her today. We broke up amicably. I may even ask her to sponsor me again in the future. I've learned a lot from her. More than I ever thought possible but we were stuck on Step 8.

Does it mean I've never done anything I regret and need to apologize for? No, I just can't remember what that might be. I guess I've blocked it out because of the pain, shame and guilt associated with that kind of thing. But, also, I've tried very hard not to step on people's toes, to apologize immediately (or soon) when I think I may have offended someone. After all, I learned that in this program 30 years ago.

Does that mean I haven't done anything since? Well probably, but someone will have to tell me that I've stepped on their toes - I sure as heck don't know it.