Insomnia strikes again

Lying awake and needing to sleep are really deadly. I try not to take too many pills, too many side effects but sometimes just desperately need some rest.

My mind races with whatever issues are crazing me - right wing Republicans, Tea Party nuts,
Questions about the effectiveness of Obama anything - the insane total block of anything effective happening in the State Legislature. Family issues. Health issues. Aging. Loss of friends and family. Personal history as a pseudo Kindertransport child and potential Holocaust victim. The real victims in my family. Etc. etc. etc.

What I really need is that ability to detach from issues where I really have no control. Beyond my vote, or donations to causes, I have little to offer- no knowledge which I feel will lead to solutions; no speciall skills to help implement those solutions; no trust in the solutions offered by others.

I do admire those people who get out and work for causes - sometimes seemingly hopeless causes and they keep working their butts off trying to help. I'm much more of a defeatist.
Little hope that humanity is human and has human values. Hatred seems endemic and unashamed. Political stalemates the rule and no sense that the good of the people is very high on the list of most of the politicians in Washington.

what kind of a world are we leaving for our kids? None of the rules or patterns we learned which would have good outcomes are relevant. There is no job security, or job loyalty. There is no nurturing of new and young people with ideas and enthusiasm. There is no educational track which guarantees a useful profession and a good income. It's all kill or be killed and flexibility is the key - you must be ready for change and go with the flow - reducate, refesh skills, be ready to make a complete about face.

It seems like treacherous water to me and I'm glad I don't have to swim in it.

Betrayed by Democracy. Gridlock.

Will try for an more upgeat blog next time. Tonight is not a time of expansive dreams.